You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How's work?
Spinning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
