people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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