you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
