he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
