I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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