no, he came in my armpit
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
