We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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