u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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