you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Let's get the cat blown out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
