I don't usually arrange sex via text message
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize