People in love make me want to vomit
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
