You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
