So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
