We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
