i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
