No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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