I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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