Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
