Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so explain again why im purple
no
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
