i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had to cum in my sink.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
