I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
