If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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