Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You smell like stripper and shame
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Shame - the story of my life.
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