Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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