similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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