If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
