I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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