Duck Duck Cougar?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
