did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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