so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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