I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize