Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
