i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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