why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
