Kareoke will never be a sober sport
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Randomize
