Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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