I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm just crazy horny about you
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I need water and some morals
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
