just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
