idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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