Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
