I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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