And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
