JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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