dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
