I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
