I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
