I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
