No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm always down for nudity.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
