I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
