fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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