What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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