i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
