i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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