You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
