Already got asked if we're dating
plz talk dirty to me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The uberlube is also flammable
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
