I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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