I want to stick my p in your. b.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
