Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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