I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
